Cough Cough
Sniffle, Sniffle, Cough. Gag. Scrunch nose. Turn body and make a face.
Being in a smoke-free home, having non-smoker friends, and going to smoke-free establishments has been such a blessing.
So I want to ask you God, why on earth did you pair me up with a heavy smoker that sits in the same working space as I do for 9 hours a day? To punish me?
It’s working.
Am I supposed to be her guardian angel or something and get her to convert to a healthier lifestyle? I’ve tried. No luck.
Except now I’m consistently coughing and I get more headaches and it takes every fiber of my being not to make a snobby comment.
Things I’d love to say to this person:
“Why are you going to the gym? To be healthy? Oh, the irony.. what’s the point in going to the gym when you are going to die soon anyway?”
Her: “Omg I went on a date with this one guy & his breath smelled so bad.” & I would love to reply, “Oh really? You should smell your breath. It’s horrid. It smells like a baby’s diaper filled with indian food that has been sitting in the dumpster for 5 weeks.”
Her: “I drove all the way to Indiana just so I could smoke inside the casino, and this one girl was waving her hand in front of her face with a disgusting look on her face saying ewww gross, I wanted to walk up to her and blow smoke in her face.”
In a dream world I’d reply, “Oh yeah? Well if I was that girl I’d do the same damn thing. And if you did that to me I’d spit in your face. Kinda sad you had to travel so far to go to a “classy” place so you can enjoy your cancer stick.”
She says too many inappropriate things for having only known me for a month.
I find it kind of sad that we never do lunch together because she’d rather smoke and take her own car then ride in mine and not have a cigarette.
I will NEVER step foot in her vehicle, ever.
I could never truly be friends with her outside of work, for I disapprove of her lifestyle choices, cannot stand the smell she gives off, and her outlandish ways.
And I am even more appalled at the amount of smokers in my office. I am the minority!
Quit now, or die (for not tryin).
I spend my nights Googling air purifiers and drooling over them as I would handbags, “Ohhh… I wish I could buy this $500 machine and bring it to work!” I read articles on people who have hyper-sensitive lung tissue and literally cannot stand being around it for even a second & ways to cope with it —> I fit into this category.
When she was taking her 15 min smoke break, I took my “smoke break” and spent the entire time researching the effects on second hand smoke.
Didya know there’s THIRD hand smoke now? The left over residue left over from a person carrying smoke particles on their clothing, hair, skin, etc. and leaving it on surfaces i.e. MY FUCKING OFFICE!
So when I die from third and second hand smoke, blame her.
P.S. I’m not a drama queen. I’m a crabby, sensitive, asthmatic non-smoker with allergies.
18 notes
Leave Note / Reblog
smoke cigarettes asthma allergies fuck smokers non smoker
